We’ve been talking about the “Cycle Breaker” movement and specifically about what it takes to be a “Cycle Breaker.” Keep in mind, it is imperative that we all become Cycle Breakers. If you care about the future of your country, you have to be a Cycle Breaker. If you care about the future of your community, you have to be a Cycle Breaker. If you care about the future of your family, you have to be a Cycle Breaker. As I have said time and time again, to sit on the sidelines and watch our youth fall behind in education, our communities become more violent or our human value to be depleted is not an option. Our success is connected. If the community is failing we are all in danger. So, let’s go Cycle Breakers with part 4: Tell negative people that “Your attitude is not my attitude.”
Everyday that I’m on the bench I hear at least one defendant say, as an excuse for his or her actions, that “I was mad because.....” or I hear “I was doing o.k. until _____ set me off.” My response is normally the same, I am shocked and disappointed that people appear in Court and face a $1,000 fine and six months in jail because they allowed someone else’s attitude to become theirs.
One of my favorite life skills programs, offered at the East Cleveland Municipal Court, is on the development of Emotional Intelligence. In a nut shell, development of Emotional Intelligence, or the ability to recognize and mange your emotions, will keep you from letting someone else determine your moods and ultimately your actions.
I know that I’m making the ability to control your own attitude in the face of negativity from other people sound easy. The truth is that it is not easy. It takes education, dedication and grit.
- Education: learning about emotionalism. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in classes, at seminars, reading and researching on the concepts of Emotional Intelligence. I believe that you have to take the time to learn about and identify your own inner emotions in order to be able to control out side situations.
- Dedication: being able to maintain a positive attitude in the face other people being aggressively negative. Being positive, as a constant state, is hard when we are constantly surrounded by people who are negative. From the clerk at McDonald’s, when you go to get your morning coffee, to the first person to greet you in the morning, some people are purposely negative and they don’t mind spreading their negativity and putting it on you. Stay dedicated to being a person who spreads positive vibes. Being able to spread your positive attitude while brushing off the negativity will open many doors and possibilities to you and keep you out of jail.
- Grit: the ability to stay the course even when it seems no one is on the same page with you. One very important principle to remember when battling the influence of the negative attitudes is that no matter how hard you try, you can not change the attitudes of other people. We all have independent spirits and free will. If a person is set on being negative, there is nothing you can do to change them. Don’t spend your valuable time trying to change other people, just let them be. As a Judge who is a Cycle Breaker, I have to work on this principle on the daily basis. My Judicial approach is from the belief that my calling as Judge of the East Cleveland Municipal Court is for me to help people realize their greatest potential. However, there are times when I have to accept the fact that I can not force people to change. In fact, there are people who deserve the six months in jail that I sentence. So take this principle with you in your battle against negative attitudes. Don’t try to change people, just make sure they don’t infect you with their issues.
At the end of the day, we all have the potential to control our destiny. Don’t let another person’s attitude bring you down. If you allow another person to cause your appearance in my Court, to pay a fine and face the possibility of jail time, not only do you deserve the penalties you get, but you are approaching personal destruction. Don’t fall into the cycle of being negative. Instead, be a Cycle Breaker and tell negative people that “Your attitude is not my attitude.”
East Cleveland Municipal Court’s Judge William L. Dawson is on a mission to help people to Finish First, live their best lives and be Cycle Breakers!
Judge Dawson offers leadership and life skills training every Monday at 5:30pm.
To receive a copy of his newsletter reach out by:
