Sh*t Goes Down On An Elevator

“Cycle Breaking” 

with Judge William  Dawson 

Sometimes Sh*t Goes Down On The Elevator!

Due to recent events, awareness of domestic violence is once again spreading across our nation. I commend all the men and women who’ve been on the front lines of this battle even when it wasn’t talked about as much as now. On the other hand, I am appalled at the few "leaders” or “people with voices” who have disregarded this very serious matter by stating that the “Ray Rice” situation is a distraction from the more important “Michael Brown” issue or “police brutality.” The fact is that any injustice is a tragedy. 

As opposed to being a distraction, domestic violence is one of the most serious forms of violence a person can experience.  While there are hundreds of people protesting and marching about the Michael  Brown tragedy, the statistics reveal that some of the same people seeking justice for that issue are, in private, beating their own loved ones. So while we are fighting the system, let’s also stand up to show outrage over the violence against women. 

From that stand point we now know that “Sh*t Goes Down On The Elevator.”

THE ELEVATOR REPRESENTS PRIVACY

Domestic Violence is the “secret” offense. Some of the people we see smiling, laughing, even giving relationship advice every day, go home and are victims to some form of violence or intimidation.  The statistics show that 1 out of every 4 women will experience some form of domestic violence in their lifetime. A challenge to understanding the impact of domestic violence is that in many communities domestic violence has become common place, normal and excepted.  As an example, when was the last time you heard a man or woman refer to their mate as a b*tch or another curse word? That’s verbal intimidation/violence. When was the last time you heard of a scenario where someone refused money or made other financial threats to their mate? That is mental and financial intimidation/violence. When was the last time you saw a person grab his or her mate, forcing them to go somewhere? That is physical intimidation/violence.  

For those who believe that these are normal relationship behaviors, I wonder if these offenses would be acceptable to you if they were committed against your sons or daughters.  I would certainly have something to say if anyone treated my children this way.

THE ELEVATOR REPRESENTS ISOLATION

In both of the Solange and Ray Rice situations, when the elevator doors closed the aggressors took advantage of the isolated environment to start throwing punches.  That fact alone makes domestic violence so outrageous.  Most of us don’t go into an isolated place with people whom we don’t trust.  When you are alone with someone in a private space and they use that moment to attack you it is a  total betrayal.

THE ELEVATOR REPRESENTS PAIN

Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.

Women ages 20 to 24 are at the greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.

Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men.

Every year, 1 in 3 women who are victims of homicide are murdered by a current or former partner.

In addition to the victim’s pain, the hidden victims of domestic violence are the children.  Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence suffer abuse or neglect. These children are likely to have health problems, experience violence themselves and display behavior and learning problems in school. Children even learn that violence against family members is ok and that violence is a proper reaction to frustration. The overall psychological abuse is devastating.

I’m working to address this problem through my leadership programs. In addition to giving instructions on how to avoid negative interaction with the legal system we also provide training, counseling and help to overcome the effects of domestic violence as well as training for those who have a habit of hurting people they love and trust.

Domestic violence is not cool, its not acceptable.  Sh*t should never go down on the elevator!

LET’S CONNECT

If you see my latest billboard in the city, take a picture, follow and tag me on Instagram @judgedawson for a chance to win prizes.

Judge William L. Dawson, 

East Cleveland Municipal Court

judgewilliamdawson@gmail.com

www.teamfinishfirst.com /www.Judgedawson.com

Self Control

Real Talk with Judge Dawson

Cycle Breaker Leadership Principle number eight is “Develop Self Control.” Self control has been described as a strong predictor of success in life.  Its ability to predict success has been ranked right up there with the certainty of success being based on intelligence.  So that means, according to some studies, you will succeed if you are intelligent or if you have self control.  As a Judge, I see how the lack of self control will lead to criminal activity.  There are several cases where I know that, if the parties would have developed and utilized self control, the crime would not have been committed.  

In order to be a Cycle Breaker, avoid trouble or negative interaction with the legal system you must develop self control.  As you know, I don’t give advise or Cycle Breaker leadership principles without including methods you can use to realize and achieve those principles.  My research reveals that to maximize your self control there are two strengths that must be developed, willpower and daily rituals.  With so much talk about success, it should not be surprising that defining and discovering willpower has become a hot topic, both with scientists interested in discovering the roots of willpower and professionals trying to help people improve their lives. First we have to understand exactly what willpower means.  According to Dr. Roy F. Baumeister, who authored the book “Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength,” willpower touches on nearly all aspects of healthy living: eating right, exercising, avoiding drugs and alcohol, studying more, working harder, spending less. 

According to Merriam-Webster, willpower is the “ability to control yourself : strong determination that allows you to do something difficult (such as to lose weight or quit smoking).”  When you add this definition with the research by Dr. Baumeister and my experience as a Judge, it breaks down to the ability to avoid problems like addiction, overeating, crime, domestic violence, sexually transmitted diseases, prejudice, debt, unwanted pregnancy, educational failure, underperformance at school and work, lack of savings, failure to exercise and many more issues.  As a more practical everyday example, we have all witnessed the lack of self control in our work environment.  It shows up when people disrespect each other or are not considerate of other’s needs.  For the most part, no one comes to work looking for a confrontation, however when a person lacks self control they will inevitably cause friction in the work environment.  

The problem with relying on willpower alone is that, according to Dr. Baumeister’s research, willpower is a limited resource subject to being used up.  However, as a Cycle Breaker I have a back up plan to make sure you  stay on track and avoid derailment.  The additional tool is to establish daily rituals. According to Merriam-Webster, “Rituals” is defined as “an act or series of acts regularly reposted in a set and precise manner.”  To stay in line with living your best life you will need to use daily rituals on the days when you don’t have the willpower to do what you said you would do.  That’s when you rely on daily rituals.  Once you allow certain things, acts or behaviors to become a part of your daily rituals you will be able to keep moving in your desired direction even when your will is low.  Take for example a desire to loose weight.  You can use your willpower to get up and go to the gym as well as avoid certain foods, but when the “will” gets low, you will go back to your old habits.  However if going to the gym is a ritual that you set in your schedule at 4:00pm everyday, that ritual becomes a part of your life and therefore easier to stay committed to. 

Though I make it sound easy, I know its not. If you want to learn more about

Cycle breaker Leadership Principle number eight, “Develop Self Control” join Judge Dawson’s Cycle Breaker/Finish First program on Monday nights at 5:30pm at the East Cleveland Municipal Court.  East Cleveland Municipal Court’s Judge William L. Dawson is on a mission to help people to Finish First, live their best lives and be Cycle Breakers!  

judgewilliamdawson@gmail.com

www.teamfinishfirst.com

www.Judgedawson.com

Social Media @JudgeDawson

Self Control in Light of the Michael Brown Shooting!

Real Talk with Judge Dawson

Cycle Breaker Leadership Principle number eight is “Develop Self Control.” I recently wrote about the basics of applying this Leadership Principle and how applying it in our lives will help us reach our maximum potential.  Now, with the recent shooting in Ferguson, its important to expand on this topic and discover ways that we can quickly move our lives to a place of peace, safety and success.  

There is no denying that in this society there is an extreme need for self control.  Professionals, which include police officers, are often quick to overreact just in the name of authority. Its at these times our emotions flare up leading to us overreacting.  However, professionals are not the only ones loosing control.  Everyday people, when faced with feelings of unfairness, sometimes overreact in response to any perceived unfairness. In the Ferguson case, as we wait for the facts to become clear, one thing for sure is that whenever there is a questionable death, there is a possibility that people did or will overreacted.  

The Ferguson tragedy and others have lead me to identify two areas where we need self control the most.  1. We need to use self control before we do something that could derail our future and 2. We need to use self control after a tragedy has occurred.  Its at those two times when our ability to stay calm and considerate of the big picture will determine if the situation will go from bad to worse.  

For this expanded discussion on self control, I like the definition that states self control is “the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations.”

How do you use self control before you do something that could derail your future?  This discussion is important because too many people find themselves in destructive situations simply because they didn’t do the proper pre-planning.  The first step is to “pre-plan” your life by clearly defining the vision for your future.  By this I mean a vision for every area of your life.  Your finances, your education, your profession and your relationships.  When you clearly identify your vision you will know where you are going.  Knowing where you are going will keep you from “floating” in any direction.  That means, when you are faced with a decision to take controversial action, controversial to your vision, you will be less likely to take that action and you will be more likely to make the right decision.

How do you use self control after a tragedy?

Once a tragedy hits, it takes a lot of discipline to keep from loosing focus on your overall vision.  In fact, sometimes the pain and disappointment is so severe that you may consider abandoning your vision.  This is when the power of “Emotional Intelligence” comes in.  Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize emotions in your self and others so that you can regulate those emotions and make good decisions in the face of negative situations.  When you intelligently use your emotions, you will avoid over reacting in your initial and later responses.  Remember life is long and many of the situations we find ourselves in will be just small parts of our story.  Let’s make sure we are not doing something in the “now” that we may regret in the “future.” 

Though I make it sound easy, I know its not. If you want to learn more about

Cycle Breaker Leadership Principle number eight, “Develop Self Control” join Judge Dawson’s Cycle Breaker/Finish First program on Monday nights at 5:30pm at the East Cleveland Municipal Court.  East Cleveland Municipal Court’s Judge William L. Dawson is on a mission to help people to Finish First, live their best lives and be Cycle Breakers!  

judgewilliamdawson@gmail.com

www.teamfinishfirst.com

www.Judgedawson.com

Social Media @JudgeDawson

Why Do Boys Grow Up To Be Dangerous Men? Pt. 3

Real Talk with Judge Dawson

Why Do Young Boys Grow Up To Be Dangerous Men Part III.  We are one week away from a discussion that will provide solutions to a major problem in Cleveland and American as a whole. 

In the daily news there are examples of dangerous and violence acts in our community.  One such act was played out in the City of Cleveland Heights when a popular business owner, Jim Brennan, was murdered in his restaurant.  The allegations are that two sets of brothers conspired to rob Mr. Brennan when gun shots were fired.  Mr. Brennan died later at a hospital.  The charges are aggravated murder, aggravated robbery, kidnapping, obstruction of justice and tampering with evidence. 

Some may find it hard to believe that the charges in this case are against two sets of brothers.  I find it very believable.  I find it typical of what I see playing out in this day and age.  Just a few weeks ago in my Court I told a set of brothers that it was obvious to me that their connection was not healthy.  I could tell that they didn’t take the legal system seriously, I could tell that they were not capitalizing off their opportunities.  I could tell that they were influencing each other to go further down the path of criminal activity.  

The writing was clearly on the wall for the brothers that I had in my court room so it is not that far of a stretch to find out that the robbery/murder in Cleveland Heights involves family members. Being on the topic of family members and crime, one reason that young boys are growing up to be dangerous men is that the family members are sleep at the wheel.  I call it “Careless Care.”  By careless care I am referring to the fact that too many people in this generation are not properly raising their children, with the morals and principles, to ensure that they make the right decision when faced with hard choices.  Additionally, there are many parents who have blinders on.  These parents ignore the fact that it doesn’t matter if the parent has morals and positivity in their heart.  It doesn’t matter if the paren has learned many life lessons.  If they are not communicating these lessons and morals to their children the children will find themselves in legal trouble or becoming violent.  It is primarily up to the parents and the family to make sure young people are not growing up to be violent or dangerous.  

Now, I know that some of you have the attitude that if violence is not in your life or your family then the issue doesn’t concern you.  That is so far from the truth. First, don’t take it for granted that your decisions to stay crime free as a parent will automatically trickle down to your children. It will not.  Don’t be careless in your care for your family.  Don’t sit back and assume that everything is ok, that the youth will learn through your silence.  Break the cycle, talk to the youth about violence, talk to the youth about crime.  Don’t let another set of brothers, or any youth for that matter, find themselves in a situation where they become dangerous adults.  

This is the world and communities that we live in.  We can no longer sit back and think that crime won’t happen to us or our families.  It takes a village to create a positive community.  The forum, “Why Do Young Boys Grow Into Dangerous Men,” The East Cleveland Library on July 21, 2014 at 5:00pm, will boldly address the problem, the lack of community collaboration but most importantly, the solutions.  

For more discussion on this subject or others, join Judge Dawson’s Cycle Breaker/Finish First program on Monday nights at 5:30pm at the East Cleveland Municipal Court.  East Cleveland Municipal Court’s Judge William L. Dawson is on a mission to help people to Finish First, live their best lives and be Cycle Breakers!  

judgewilliamdawson@gmail.com

www.teamfinishfirst.com

www.Judgedawson.com

Social Media @JudgeDawson

Why Do Boys Grow Up To Be Dangerous Men? Pt. 2

Real Talk with Judge Dawson

Why Do Boys Grow Up To Be Dangerous Men Part II.  I’ve been writing about this subject in response to my participation as a panelist where this question was the topic.  As a result of my preparation I expanded my analysis of “dangerous men” to include “dangerous people.” This expansion is based on the fact that we know both men and women commit crimes. 

Being elected Judge has different effects on each person.  For me it is nothing more than taking on the responsibility to be a leader, example and educator for the community.  In this role I regularly conduct workshops aimed at helping people discover and develop their leadership ability.  The best part about these workshops is that they are absolutely free.  I’m basically begging people to come get this knowledge.  

My recent workshop called “Hustle Rehab,” took a direct approach to analyzing and then correcting the ghetto mentality that can lead to a life of delinquency and crime.  With this valuable information being shared through this provocative topic, I excepted to have a standing room only audience in the courtroom.  However, its’ hard to get people to come out and learn about change or bettering their lives.   That is one reason why young people grow into dangerous adults, failure to grow!

The scriptures say “My people parish because of their lack of knowledge.” Today, this scripture is playing out in real time.  True to form, and unfortunately, during the same time of my workshop four people were involved in the exact type of crime that my workshops aim to stop.  Fox 8 news reported that four young men were arrested after reportedly beating a 16-year-old and taking his cell phone.  According to Cleveland Heights police, it happened Monday, June 23, 2014 just before 6:30 p.m.  As I said, this was right in the middle of my workshop called “Hustle Rehab: Turn Your Hood Swag Into Good Swag.”  I can only imagine that if half the people who said they were going to come to the workshop came, if half the media outlets who knew about the workshop attended, if every parent who has a child who has been in trouble brought that child, lives would have been changed and ultimately saved.  If our community really cares about crime we have to get actively involved.  We have to be an example and leader of change.  Even if you don’t worry about yourself or your family being a victim of crime, we should encourage development and leadership in our communities for the greater good and safety of all.  The victim of this Cleveland Heights beating told police he’d been with the four male suspects at the Noble Road Library prior to the incident.  They then walked to the Noble Elementary School playground where one of the suspects grabbed him from behind and strangled him until he lost consciousness, while the three other suspects searched his pockets and took his cell phone.  Two of the men were 19 and face adult charges, two others are juveniles.  

This is the world and communities that we live in.  We can no longer sit back and think that crime won’t happen to us or our families.  It takes a village to create a positive community.  The next forum, “Why Do Young Boys Grow Into Dangerous Men,” The East Cleveland Library on July 21, 2014 at 5:00pm, will boldly address the problem, the lack of community collaboration but most importantly, the solutions.  

For more discussion on this subject or others, join Judge Dawson’s Cycle Breaker/Finish First program on Monday nights at 5:30pm at the East Cleveland Municipal Court.  East Cleveland Municipal Court’s Judge William L. Dawson is on a mission to help people to Finish First, live their best lives and be Cycle Breakers!  

judgewilliamdawson@gmail.com

www.teamfinishfirst.com

www.Judgedawson.com

Social Media @JudgeDawson

Why Do Boys Grow Up To Be Dangerous Men?

Real Talk with Judge Dawson

I had the pleasure to participate in a panel called “Why Do Some Boys Grow Up To Be Dangerous Men?” It was held in partnership with City of Cleveland Councilman Kevin Conwell and featured various panel members.  In preparation of part II of the conversation, which will be held in the City of East Cleveland on July 21, 2014 at the East Cleveland Public Library, I want to recap some of the findings of this first event.  The first noticeable takeaway i that the audience was mainly populated by mature adults.  By mature adults I am referring to the residents who support strong families and strong communities.  I hoped that there would be a larger majority of young people at the forum but, as with many of the events today, there were only a few.  I personally drove a few teens to the event, but instead of being present at a forum that can effect the future of this community, many young people, who were in the same building, were either not asked to attend or ignored the significance of the discussion.  

The second take-a-way is how the main topic of conversation leaned in the direction of father’s rights.  This was a very productive discussion considering that the panel included the very knowledgeable Al Grimes from the Cuyahoga County Fatherhood initiative. Accordingly, the participants were able to get very valuable information on this topic.  Specifically, many of the participants left enriched on how to establish paternity and work within the legal system to ensure that they are given the right to visitation and enjoyment of their children.  When I rose to speak I mentioned fatherhood from a different angle.  I discussed the feeling of parents when their young children go astray.  I discussed how its the responsibility of the parents to make sure their young children don’t grow up to be dangerous.  I discussed how my heart cries out every time I see a person in my courtroom who is living below their potential by choosing to live a life of crime and destruction.  

As a Judge I see dangerous men and women everyday who did not start out that way.  I come face to face with people who have lost hope and who are not concerned about themselves, their community or other people.  This discussion is very important.  The evidence of dangerous men and women is constantly on display.  Just this past weekend in the city of Cleveland there were four shooting deaths.  We see that everyone expresses outrage over killings but very few are willing to do anything about it.  This reactionary yet lackadaisical approach to stopping crime is evident by the lack of media attention or leadership support at this particular event.  There were no news cameras, there was no joining of forces with the other Cleveland Council members.  In my experience, any serious change and advancement to stop the trend of dangerous men and women must be approached by massive collaboration.  It takes a village to create a positive community.  The next forum, “Why Do Young Boys Grow Into Dangerous Men,” that I host in East Cleveland, will boldly address the problem, the lack of community collaboration but most importantly, the possible solutions.  

For more discussion on this subject or others, join Judge Dawson’s Cycle Breaker/Finish First program on Monday nights at 5:30pm at the East Cleveland Municipal Court.  East Cleveland Municipal Court’s Judge William L. Dawson is on a mission to help people to Finish First, live their best lives and be Cycle Breakers!  

judgewilliamdawson@gmail.com

www.teamfinishfirst.com

www.Judgedawson.com

Social Media @JudgeDawson

Cycle Breaker Leadership Principle #7

Real Talk with Judge Dawson

Cycle Breaker Leadership Principle number seven is "You Must Keep Learning.  Education is vital to your success.  It doesn't matter if you are eight or eighty years old, if you are not growing or learning you are dying. At a minimum, no matter how old we are, we have to know the basic current tools for survival. For example,you have to the traffic rules if you are traveling.  Similarly, you have to know basic financial rules if you are a consumer. My point is that in order to be a leader, to be a Cycle a breaker, to live your best life you have to keep learning.  

Court rooms across this country are full of people who don't have jobs or are working jobs beneath their potential because they didn't continue to learn and prepare themselves.  Daily I see young men who are not prepared to get a job.  These young people are not prepared in their walk, not prepared in their talk and not prepared in their presentation. Any one of these forms of "the lack of preparation" will keep you from reaching your potential.  As an example I'll address the occurrence of showing that you are not prepared for a job or success  by the form of your communication or, in other words, your talk.   Though looks and appearances allow people to make assumptions about you, your words allow people to make determinations about you.  Standing in court using broken english, not speaking clearly or failing to communicate at all is a dead give-a-way that, somewhere along the line, this person stopped learning.  People who fit into this category are surely not going to get a "good" job and are likely headed to jail.  When we look at all the possible causes of the inability to communicate, its possible to blame the home and even the schools.  As a Cycle Breaker, instead of looking to place blame on other people, I'm all about personal responsibility so I will place the blame squarely on the individual person.  At some point you become aware of the difference in your speech and the speech of a person in authority or management.  At some point you realize that you should speak their language in order to get to their level.  In other words when you know better, you do better.

In order to secure your ability to provide for your self and your family you must be educationally prepared.  Here is a game changing tip.  Look out in the American horizon and identify the industries where employment demand is high. Now go and get the skills required so that you can enter that industry.  Getting the skills now will make you ready when the opportunity presents itself!  To keep learning means to sharpen your tools. Sharpening your tools means you are getting ready for the endeavors ahead.  It may take going to school at night, I did. It may take leaving some of your negative associations, I did.  It will take sacrifice but it's worth it.   Leadership and Cycle Breaker Principle number seven, keep learning.

For more discussion on this subject or others, join Judge Dawson’s Cycle Breaker/Finish First program on Monday nights at 5:30pm at the East Cleveland Municipal Court.  East Cleveland Municipal Court’s Judge William L. Dawson is on a mission to help people to Finish First, live their best lives and be Cycle Breakers!  

judgewilliamdawson@gmail.com

www.teamfinishfirst.com

www.Judgedawson.com

Social Media @JudgeDawson