“Cycle Breaking” w/ Judge Dawson
Jay Z & Solange: A Hot Ghetto Mess!
Now that I have your attention let’s be Cycle Breakers and break down the Jay Z and Solange episode. By now we have all seen the video of the attack on the elevator. Many of us commended Jay Z on his restraint while others, like myself, looked at the chaos as a hot ghetto mess. I also noted that in most cases a prosecutor could have charged Solange with assault, even if Jay Z didn’t cooperate, but that’s another article. Many of the comments on social media expressed that “even celebrities have family issues.” Indicating that what happened on that elevator is normal.
Why is this considered normal behavior? When is it normal for a married man’s sister-in-law to viciously attack him? Or, let me bring it closer to some of our situations, when is it normal for a family member or friend of a “baby mama” to attack the man? When is it normal for any woman to attack a man or a man to attack a woman?
By considering this as normal we are being desensitized to the ridiculousness of these occurrences. These are cycles that we must break. The challenge is that, in our communities, neighborhoods and families these activities happen often. It’s normal to be at a cook out where the drunk uncle starts arguing and then challenges everyone to a fight. It’s normal for us to use threatening language like, “I’m about to go get my gun” with each other. However, here is the wake up call: THAT MESS IS NOT NORMAL. Living and existing in chaos is not normal We all have greatness in us and living in this manner is below our greatness.
- Be a Cycle Breaker & “Change Your Normal”
My Bailiff, Maurise Sanders, calls it the “new normal.” We have to redefine what we will except in our lives as normal because many things we consider normal are negative and could have a detrimental effect on our future. For example, it is not normal (in a positive way) to:
* Go to jail
* Buy clothes from the barbershop and salons
* Stay in a physically or mentally abusive relationship.
* Drop out of school
* Sit around without a job.
I could go on forever with this list. The point is that the cases I see in my court room are based on people embracing negative normals like the ones I listed.
Let me prove how negative normals = negative lives:
* If going to jail is normal, committing more crimes with the possibility of jail becomes normal.
* If buying clothes from boosters is normal, doing other shady things to get material items becomes normal.
* If being in an abusive relationship is normal, a regular cycle of abuse for your family becomes normal.
* If dropping out of school is normal, underachieving and negative hustling becomes normal.
* If sitting around not getting a job is normal, robbing and stealing from others becomes normal.
* If JAY Z being attacked by Solange is a normal family relationship, your tolerance for unhealthy and unproductive environments become normal.
I am not judging or criticizing Jay Z and Beyonce’s relationship, nor am I saying that issues don’t occur in our relationships. I am saying that we should not except chaos as normal. It’s fine to look up to celebrity relationships and situations but hopefully they won’t become the benchmarks for what we will or will not except in our lives. Don’t except chaos and negative controversies as normal.
- To Be a Cycle Breaker, Avoid Chaos.
Mental and physical peace for you and your family should be a first priority. You can't be the best you can be when your life is full of chaos. I have a friend who told me, in order to focus on achieving her goals and dreams, because she couldn’t move out of her chaotic environment at the time, she would physically go into a closet to do homework and to concentrate. She knew that chaos was unproductive and would keep her from her potential. Today she is a highly successful business women who provides inspiration for thousands of people. As a community we have to get to the point where we change and raise the level of our expectations. No more hot ghetto mess, establish your new normal. Judge William L. Dawson,
East Cleveland Municipal Court
For more on this subject or others, join Judge Dawson’s Cycle Breaker/Finish First program on Monday nights, 5:30pm at the East Cleveland Municipal Court. By the way, thanks for all the encouraging emails. It’s fuel to keep me moving!
Social Media: @judgedawson
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